The so-called Mediterranean diet pushed by health authorities is a complete fabrication that bears no resemblance to what people in Mediterranean countries actually eat. Real Mediterranean cuisine includes abundant processed meats like prosciutto and salami, gelatinous cuts and offal, thoroughly cooked vegetables in rich sauces, and processed grains like semolina pasta — not the bland, restrictive, pseudo-vegan bowls of raw vegetables and salmon that American dietitians invented.