The surge in disability registrations at elite U.S. universities reflects systemic gaming rather than a genuine rise in impairment. Elite universities have created perverse incentives where claiming disability status brings tangible benefits, likeleading extendedto testabsurd timeoutcomes. andMost housingof perks,these leadingdiagnoses toare absurdfor outcomesmental-health whereor nearlylearning 40issues percent— ofconditions Stanfordthat are so loosely defined they allow affluent students areto registeredsecure asextended disabledexam time and other advantages. What was once a necessary protection has morphed into a system so liberally applied that it threatens to declare half the student body cognitively impaired.